Today

Today I feel sad, I feel lost, I feel like I've missed out on my youth.
Today I feel old, I feel cold, I feel like my life is stuck in a rut.
Today I feel angry, like it's not fair, and I want to scream.
Today I feel alone, because nobody really understands.

But I know these thoughts are fleeting,
they gather speed, ready to take off again,
and I know they'll return again,
but when they leave I will rejoice,
because the weight of such feelings brings you down.

So if today you feel broken, gutted or entrapped,
if you've felt this way for hours or years,
know that all affliction is momentary and light,
and that everything is temporary,

and that it might never hurt any less,
but you'll grow stronger, more patient,
kinder and more resilient.

Know that even if your today is black,
you still have the power to bring joy,
you still have the strength to survive,
and if surviving is all you can do, that's okay

it's okay

because you're not alone,
because thousands of us feel this way,
and although the suffering of others brings me little comfort,
the knowledge of others fighting alongside me fills me with courage,
because humans are fragile, yet humans are so brave.

be brave today, I know you can.

© Alice Daley 2014

Inside of M.E.

Pain radiates through my weary bones,
Head spinning, heart racing,
Eyes streaming, lights blinding,
This M.E. gets inside of me,
I surrender to the pain once again.

This gnawing, chewing pain,
Splits my joints in two,
Makes me cry out in agony,
This M.E. gets inside of me,
I surrender to the pain once again.

When the lights fade out,
And the noise overwhelms me,
I cannot cope, overstimulated,
This M.E. gets inside of me,
I surrender to the pain once again.

I long for it to end- this life,
This hell within my skin,
Even my skin hurts to touch,
This M.E. gets inside of me,
I surrender to the pain once again.

© Alice Daley 2014

Turmoil.

My mind wanders, wildly,
it whirls around, like a storm,
repeating and remembering,
all these things in my head,
I am too tired to think,
too sleepy to comprehend,
my head is pounding,
feverish body writhing,
as the illness floods me,
my mind cannot rest,
exhausted thoughts rushing,
when will this end?

Oh it will not end,
chronic illness never ceases,
for people stop caring,
stop believing you're ill,
"you can't still be ill,"
they scorn at you,
but you're too tired to care,
too weary to be hurt,
by their cruel taunts
Just rest my love,
lay your head down,
I have no expectations,
I have no harsh words,
Just rest my love.

© Alice Daley 2014

Let me be sad.

Let me be sad.
Because negative emotions are just as valid as the positive ones.
There may not be a reason for my sadness, just like sometimes you're just in a happy mood for no reason.
Don't try to make me cut it short for your benefit by 'cheering me up.'
It doesn't work, for I just pretend to be 'cheered' to make you stop with your pathetic attemps to undo something so deeply ingrained within me, I don't know where I end and the sadness begins. Just let me feel. Let me feel it in all it's intensity. Let me be sad.

© Alice Daley 2014